Sunny yet Sad days at the Shelter........

"Sunny days are those days where everything is great. Sad days are those days where everything is not great. But when these days clash, we have sunny yet rainy weather, and nobody can figure those out."~ MRM

         At the shelter we have just had chaos. Not the normal good chaos though, it's chaos that nobody wants. People are fighting, people are leaving, and people are crying. I am a bystander. I see it all happen, but don't ever talk about it in fear of losing the one thing I have, the one place I can escape all the troubles of the world. I don't get this though now because of a silly little feud over cats and dogs.
        I don't choose to work with the cats more, I do it because they need more help at the moment. I don't love cats more than dogs, I love them both equally because they both need love. I don't hang out with the cats on purpose, I do it because they need it, but so do the dogs so I try to equally hang out with them. I don't like being in the middle of a feud. It's just one more thing I can add to my stress list. I don't like it.
        Stress is one thing a 15 year old shouldn't have much of. Grrrrr!!!!!!! I used to look up at the sky, sigh, and take it one step at a time up that hill, but now I feel like I'm taking one step forward and falling two steps back! This is not cool, good, or amazing. This is terrible, painful, and hard.
         So now what I will do, I won't give up on trudging up this hill through wind, rain, sleet, snow, or whatever Mother Nature throws at me. I will climb the hill, push through everything, and help out my friends and family and everybody at the shelter. I will not take sides. I will look up at the sky, sigh, and hope that one day, all this can be put behind us so that we can all get along someday. Hopefully someday soon.....

Poems are flowing........

I just havn't been able to stop writing poems! I'm a poem maniac and I don't know how to stop. I love writing poems and all, but not when I can't stop writing them! AHHHHH! Guess I better just look up at the sky, sigh, and write till I can't write no more.....

Lol, I'm In School.....

Lol, i'm in school right now, I just wanted to say. I am so overwhelmed with the projects and homework but am glad that I have the shelter to calm me. That and my buddy Sabreena. Lol sabreena. SHE SAYS HI!!!!!!!!!!!! ttfn. don't forget to look up at the sky, sigh, and take it one step at a time.

School Starts and Stress levels rise........

Well, school started today and I already have a Biology project. Gr. Meh. I am too tired to do anything and my stress levels are on the rise. I wake up in the morning, go to school, come home, go to the shelter, come home, do homework, eat dinner, and clean then go to bed. I am sick of the stress and everything else. And on top of that, my dad threatened to take the shelter away from me just because I havn't been cleaning. I told him that my schedual has been through the roof full, but he just doesn't care. I don't believe him though and am just going to keep going, no matter what I have to do. UG! What a pain in the a.......butt. Well, thats all for now, and I guess I'll look up at the sky, sigh, and take it one stress rising step at a time.....

Another blog?........

I think I'm crazy, no, I know I'm crazy. Why? Well not only because I am, well, me, but because I have started another blog. It's called "Authors: The other kind of musicians" It is a blog where I talk about one author for one week. Then, as soon as that week is over, a new author comes to take the spotlight. I started it because I read a lot and have nowhere to put my thoughts and knowledge of the authors. SO I started a blog. I know there are already blogs about authors and authors blogs, but nobody knows everything about authors so what if I start another blog where my opinion is different. (oh, wait.....) Anyways, I guess I have to have some sort of outlet and blogging seems to be it. Well, if ya'll get the chance, check out "Authors:he other kind of musicians" and see who's next. Until next time, look up at the sky, sigh, and put your passion for reading or writing to good use.....

Ummmmmm........

Well, I know I havn't blogged in a while, but thats because I couldn't think of anything to say. Now I do! I have a severe case of writers block and cannot write anything! Except this because it is just a bunch of nonsense to me. Anyway, I havn't been able to write anything in any of my three books that I am working on. AAAAAHHHHHHHH! Oh, I hope I get over this soon! Anyways, I guess all I can do right now is look up at the sky, sigh, and hope this darn thang gets over soon! <3 Ya'll!

The long awaited search.....

O W, W,  wherefore art thou W?
Deny thy Terri and refuse thy name;
Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love
And i'll no longer be a Miller
(A revised quote from Shakespeare)

Okay, so I guess I'm doing the long past search for my old horse W. I had him when I was 4/5 years old. He was only 4 months old when we got him. He was a paint/morgan mix with a black mane and tail. He had white stockings and a little white spot on his forehead that was hidden beneath his forelock. He was a shiny brown. W was sold when he was 4/5 years old. I miss him so much, and would love to figure out what happend to him. So, my grandma, my mom, and myself are on a search to figure out what happend to him all these years. If anybody can give me a suggestion to where he might be, then email me at helpfindw@gmail.com. Thanks. I guess all I can do now is just look up at the sky, sigh, and hope that he is still alive........

Hot summer days=nothing to do.....

It has been really hot here and nothing to do. I would be riding, but I don't want to overheat Miracle. So, I'm just  walking from the house to the barn every half hour, just to do something than sit on my butt all day. I'm not grieving as much over Pascal, Sonora Tristan Poof (hit by a car), and Barney (had to be put down). Bored now. Well, I'm gonna go with my Grandma to pick up my Step-Grandpa and some feed. Look up at the scorching sky, sigh, and run inside to a nice cool fan!

R.I.P Pascal

Memorial to Pascal

R.I.P Sweet Baby Girl    

 Date of Birth: 7/16/2011

 Date of Death: 7/19/2011

3 days old

 Time of Death: 3:05 pm

Goodbye sweet baby girl. I tried, and it was worth it. You

 passed slowly, unknowing your sickness. You had a good four

 days of life. Go rest peacefully now baby girl. May the angels

good care of you. 

Now baby girl, when I look up at the sky, sigh, and take it one step at a time, I know that you are there and are being well cared for by the Angels. You will always be my little angel.

Kitten Watch! Just Born and Day One and Two.....

 Time for a Kitten Watch! I am going to post a picture of Pascal (keep reading for story) every week so that you can see her growth. Well, here is the story! ~ On Saturday, I found a newborn kitten, well I actually found three while I was looking for worms for a baby bird that I found (I was waiting for its wings to dry off) but anyway, two were dead when I found them, just born. Anyway, I found her and took her into the house. My Grandma then went to the store and bought KMR (Kitten Milk Re-placer) and a couple bottles. I have been feeding her every 2-3 hours or when she wakes up. She has been going to the bathroom so I'm not to worried.
 
Now to the pictures! She is sleeping in most of these, except for the one where she is eating. The pony you see in some of the pics was mine, but I gave it to her to snuggle by. She is only about as long as my hand (as you can see) and is starting to get a belly! Her name is Pascal, after a
 girl in a movie I watched before finding her ("Primo Baby"). She's
coming home with me when I leave
my Grandmas so I can continue to
 care for her. (And also, my
Grandparents don't want another
cat in the house.) So, that's all for
now. I look up at the sky, sigh, and run to give Pascal her bottle........


Pascal Was Born- Saturday, July 16th, 2011 (Day I found her)
One Day- Sunday, July 17th, 2011 (Yesterday)
Two Days- Monday, July 18th, 2011 (Today)

 (The one picture with the dog is my grandmas dog sassy and she is watching over Pascal)

PICS!

Me Kissing The Cow Pepper

Minnie

Peacock one

Minnie and her adopted baby Pearl

The second peacock #2

Pearl

Pepper

Pepper (left) Sylvester (Right)

Sassy

Sylvester

Sonora Tristan Poof

Taz

Barney

Chrystal

Miracle

Shadow

JR

Ow.....And on top of it more ow.....

That's all I have to say is ow. Why? Because last night I had my first riding lesson (again) of the summer and having not ridden for a year, my, well, you know hurts and so do the inside of my legs. On top of that, me and my mom think that I may have a ligament in my ankle that isn't healing correctly because it still hurts after about four years. GRRRR GRRR GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OW! I have it wrapped and have done all the usual, Ibuprofen (200 Mg <1pill>), ice, elevation, but nothing is working. GRRRRR! I don't like doctors either. The last time all they gave me was anti-inflammatory, and they didn't help! Now when I dismount on a horse, I have to be careful otherwise I will land on it funny, and not funny ha-ha. Oh well. Now all I do is look up at the sky while sitting by the horses, sigh, and take it one painful step at a time........

Oh Happy Day!.....

I am now happy! Sonora (Poof) didn't go missing after all! She is alive and thriving! Yay! I now look up at the sky, sigh, and be thankful she is alive. Thats all the news for now though!

Oh No!.....

Remember the kitten I keep talking about? Sonora (Poof)? She has lived up to her last name (Poof) and has completely vanished! At first I thought it was nothing, like she was hiding or something. Then after about a week, I started to get worried. Now, I'm thinking she may be dead. :'( I feel so sad right now. I do for the matter to feel better, look up at the sky, sigh, and hope for the best. :'(

Howdy!.....

Hey y'all! JK JK, that's not how I really speak. That's okay though. The reason I wanted to quick put up this blog was because that little kitten in the barn (Poof) has a new name! I renamed her Sonora, from an awesome horse movie I watched called Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken. It is an older movie, but I love it! She responds better to Sonora than Poof and is so cute! I will get a pic of her up soon. TTFN bloggers! Look up at the sunny sky, sigh, and take it a simple kitten waddle at a time! ;)

Finally!.....

Okay, sorry I haven't blogged for awhile, but the thing is, I have been so busy with the horses here at my grandmas that I have had barley any time to talk to anyone, let alone get on the computer. What do I do with the horses? Talk to them, brush them, and when they aren't around, do the same thing with the cows. Yeah, my grandma not only has 4 horses and one mule, but three cows. All male. Sylvester is the biggest (black and white), Pepper is medium size (brown), and little Barney is the smallest (black and white). Barney doesn't have his horns yet, but you can feel them coming in! He was also born with this thing where when he drinks his Calf Milk Re placer (or anything else he drinks) it comes out of his nose. It is kind of funny, but I feel so bad for the Lil fella. There is also a kitten here that I named Poof because she is just a poof of fur. She is brown but looks red in certain light. She is so cute! I will get pictures up soon if I can get my camera working! Also when I'm not outside with all those crazy animals, I am inside with two cats and two dogs. The cats names are Pearl (white and grey Siamese with BLUE eyes) and Spotty (tortie). The dogs are Sassy (not sure) and Minnie (blue healer). They are all crazy creatures!
Well that's all for now, I leave you with the horses name and description. Don't forget to look up when things are getting bad, but here all I have to do is run out to the barn and sigh to the horses. LOL!........

Horses names:
Taz -Stallion/Light Brown/Light brown and white mane/Light brown tail
Miracle- Mare/Brown/Black mane and tail
Chrystal- Mare/ White and grey dapple/Grey mane and tail (JR's mom)(Female leader of herd)
JR- Stallion/Brown and black/Dark brown mane and tail (almost black) (Chrystal's son)

Mule:
Shadow- Male/Multicolored (brown, black, white, tan)/Black mane/Black and white tail (Male leader of herd)

Busy Camping/Birthday Celebration........

Happy camping! I had a nice weekend camping. Me and my dad, two brothers, and unfortunately, my dads girlfriend, went hiking, swimming (more me and my brothers [burnt faces!]) played a little mini golf (no pun intended) and went fishing, but didn't catch anything :( Oh well, as long as we had fun! Right?

Oak day, so we didn't have very much fun, but it still counts. The only reason is because when I woke up this morning, my face hurt (it was sun-burnt) and my dads girlfriend started going off at everybody. I so badly wanted to die right then and there. Not on my birthday, I thought in my head, this was supposed to be awesome! But it wasn't. So, to cheer myself up today (happy 15th to me, happy 15th to me....) I went to the shelter. Being around the cats always makes me feel better, no matter what had happened that day. Heck, if I was in a wheel chair, I would still go down to the shelter and figure out a way to be with the cats with or without the wheel chair. I love them so much. They gave me a great birthday gift, love. Thank you cats very much. I love each and every one of you.

Well, that's all for now, so this is what I did when I woke up this morning, I looked up at the sky, sighed, and walked towards the camp fire ring singing "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you....."

Busy Body!........

AHHH! So busy lately since school ended. I have my volunteer job, three days of vet shadowing, camping one weekend, to my grandmas the next, graduation band another, and on top of that, unknown babysitting dates! I do try to keep myself busy, but looking at my June calender is another thing. Now, why would a High School student like myself want to keep herself busy you ask. Well, the answer to that is to get out of the boring house I live in, and far far away from my dads girlfriend, who just happens to dislike me the most, so that I don't have to listen to her ____ing all the time at little things. Enough of that topic! I cannot wait to have more baby's to take care of! Yesterday, me and my buddy K at the shelter divide up the work and a little baby named Corey (secretly tuna shhhhh)  ;)  He loves attention! We also talked about summer a lot. I cannot believe it is already here! Only one week until my birthday! WOOOOOHOOOOO. Until then though, I love looking up at the sky, seeing the bright sun, sighing, and taking it one step at a time towards my busy future.  :D

Schools Out!........

AHHHH! School is almost out and I am feeling awesome! I cannot wait to spend more time outside and not studying for tests. Woot! I absolutely love summer! Why? Because my birthday is June 12th and I cannot wait to go camping! I also cannot wait to babysit my favorite buddy's Sammie and Nick! Finally, I cannot wait to go to my grandmas. I will try to keep everybody posted, but not sure how much time I will be inside on the computer! I will probably be outside with the animals, but that's just me ;) Well, now, waiting for summer the best I can do is look out the school windows, sigh, and take it one exam (test) at a time.....

Sliding cats and new swifers........

Today at the shelter we had to do major cleaning in the scared/new cat area. We hot soapy bleach watered the walls and floor. Then we washed everything. My eyes still burn from the bleach. Still, it was fun. Me and K(a different K that I work with, not my sis) were talking throughout the whole thing. We talked about swifers and our blogs. Then, when I mopped the floor, the cats started to freak out and run! They were slipping all over the floor. I wanted to help them, but couldn't because I was to busy laughing! You should of seen it! So, when cleaning comes along, all you got to do is look around, sigh, and clean one thing at a time.....

Pills and Pain........

My ankle is killing me again. So, I took a pill that made my almost completely unable to get out of my bed, and I am now very tired. I just took another pill to help me sleep. I'm going to the doctor tom. for it. Yay. I am so tired and am in so much pain that I don't know what to do. So, I just look up, wherever I am, sigh, and take it one painful step at a time, pushing through. Just suffer in silence I guess.....

Angry People and Misunderstandings........

Today at school I had a misunderstanding with a friend, which made her very angry. I told her that I had to put down an animal before and she took it the wrong way. Now everybody is against me because I said it without feeling. Well when its been so long and you can't say it with feeling anymore, well, I just can't. Now I am sad, have a headache, and don't know what to do. I am cooped up at school right now, and cannot see the sky. I guess I will look up at the ceiling, sigh, and hope that my friends were listening when I told them to look at my blog to see why I am the way I am.....

NO MORE!........

Sometimes, you just need to cry
 it out when you can't fly away on broken wings.

ARG! I cannot take my dads girlfriend anymore! She keeps blaming everything on me! "You should of made them do this" "It's your fault that this wasn't done on time" and my personal favorite, "You little (fill in the blank)! I don't want you here anymore! You ruin everything!" Yeah, I get this everyday from her. Thank goodness I have a sanctuary, but it still doesn't get me away from her. I can't take it anymore! Not even my friends can help. Why? Because they know nothing. That's right. I fix all their problems, but they don't ever ask me how I am doing at home, or, what they think is my home. Home is where the heart is, and right now, my heart is in a million places! My one friend, with my mom, with the shelter, with my other friend. My mind isn't even set strait and I have finals coming up! I just wish that once, just once, I could have my dream come true. A nice day, where I went to school and everybody was happy and nice. Then I would come home, go to the shelter, relax a little. Next I would come home to a nice pile of books to curl up and read. Finally I would go to sleep (after a nice dinner of homemade mac-n-cheese) and actually sleep. But no. I wake up in the morning to yelling. I go to school to a list of friends problems and a ton of homework. I go home after school and go to the shelter and work some more, listen to more yelling (from cats and people) get home, and try to get my homework done. Then by the time I should be sleeping, I am still doing homework or just sitting awake, looking out my window. As much as I try, nothing works. SO what do I do? Just look up at those stars so far away in the sky, sigh, and take it one ticking minute at a time..... tick, tick, tick.....

Talking........

Today I went to the park with my friend, whom I have known since 2nd grade. He knows not to badger me about topics, but you know what he did? He badgered me. So what did I do? Looked up at the sky, sighed, and changed the subject. I then asked him if I could go home so that I could go take care of cats at the local shelter I volunteer at. He said if it made me happy. I felt so bad! Guilty that the time he actually took to spend time with me (we don't get to hang out a lot) was cut short because I couldn't answer a silly question. Grrrrness. Anyways, as he nicely walked me back to my house, there was an awkward silence between us. I wanted to shout out, "Yes OK!? I did say it, and I'm sorry I couldn't say so earlier!" Those words, the answer to his question were right on my lips, but then I found myself in front of my house. I said bye and we went our separate ways. Grrrness again. Goodness Glaciers! I am such a fool! Or am I? All I know is that I cannot stop talking, but when it comes to topics I want to avoid, I go into a defensive mode and don't want to talk at all. Well, before I went inside, I did look up at the sky, sigh, and take one small step at a time into my shelled state.....

Think about it........

Here is something I wrote. I wrote this shortly after I started my blog, which used to be two brothers to many, but I changed it, because of this. I didn't think I loved my brothers, but then somebody got me really mad and I wrote this. I know some people can relate to it, others may not, but if you do, then you understand. You just understand..... Well, here it is:

All I have to say is this. You talk bad about my brothers or make fun of them then you are just doing the same to me. I cannot believe some of you people thinking that you can say whatever you want behind someones back and think that you can get away with it. Just take five minutes and pull your head from out of that make believe world that you live in. Just because you rule there, doesn't mean that you rule in reality. And in those five minutes, put yourself into the shoes of the person that you are making fun of. How do you think they feel. Hm? Think about it.


Just think about it.....

Sneak Peek........

Here is a sneak peek of my new book, Ophelia and Michael......


          Darkness surrounds me. At first I am scared, but then the scene begins to lay itself out for me to see. What I am standing on is a long narrow dirt road in the middle of the woods. Trees surround me, only leaving the path of the road clear. I hear the rustle of leaves and sigh. I know this place. I may have never ever been here in real life but I am here in every one of my dreams. I walk over to a willow tree and sit at its wide base.
         I feel as safe as if I am in my mothers’ arms, the willow branches serving as her arms, the base of the trunk her front side holding me close. I close my eyes, listening to the soft whisper of the wind as it tells stories and secrets to all that would listen. The blades of grass swaying in the wind as if they are laughing at something that the wind whispered or swaying in closer to hear a small little secret. Maybe even a story or two that is being told silently. Even the trees seemed to sway closer to each other, telling secrets and stories, only bothered by the wind intruding on their conversation.
          Then a twig breaking ruins everything and my eyes shoot open. The twig snapped so close to me that it had made me jump. Then the forest seemed to go quiet, even the wind stopped telling secrets and stories to listen. I smile at whoever just startled me because it is my father. He just smiles back and starts to walk towards me. He stops about half way and says,
    " Ophelia, please help me. Help us. You must help us." I am startled at first but then find my voice and ask,
   "Why father? Help who? Who is us?" He starts to answer but then a sword point comes out of his chest. Scarlett blood starts dripping from the wound. He falls forward and I see his killer. The dark eyes pierce me as if he can see right through me.
    "Why?" I manage to squeak. He answers quickly.
    "You mustn’t take over now dearest. You will find out soon that life is not always as beautiful as this dream was."
          Then as soon as he finished the forest soon became frightening. The trees didn't bend over telling secrets or stories, no instead they leaned angrily towards me and the willows branches started whipping around in the now furious wind. The man leaned in as close as he dared to me and flashed a yellowed smile at me. I grimaced at how close he was. Before I had time to react he whipped out a small blade and held it to my throat. The ice cold metal touched my skin.
          I woke up. I was sweating and panting so much I may have just gotten done running a mile. My throat felt very dry, as if it was sandpaper. I felt as cold as ice and could still feel the blade on my neck. It was just a dream, I told myself over and over again. Then remembering the blade my hand automatically went up to my neck. At first I thought that I had imagined the cool liquid on my neck but then I went into my bathroom and saw the scarlet line of blood on my neck. I must have scratched myself. Maybe, I tell myself, I am still asleep. I pinch myself to make sure. Nope, definitely awake. This is almost too creepy. I decided that after that horrible dream that I will not be able to go back to bed. Instead I head to the girls dorm kitchen to find something to cure my sandpaper like throat.


Hope you enjoyed!

Summer........

WOOT WOOT! Summer is almost here meaning that school is almost over meaning that I get to go to my grandmas for a whole three months! Don't worry fellow bloggers I will keep you updated when I am away, and even post pictures! So far the weather has been in the 80's and I have been roasting, but not caring. No new problems have occured, so I don't have much to blog about. Though, if you do comment on this post, I will blog about that specific problem. I am also working on my book called Ophelia and Michael. I will post a sneak peek soon. Thats all for today, so I leave you with, look up at the sunny sky, sigh, and take it one step at a time. ENJOY THE WEATHER!

Mothers Day

This free digital ecard made with Smilebox

Songs........

So, some random songs that just popped into my head are:

1. Akon Mr Lonely
2. Tick Tock by Ke$ha
3. You'll be in my heart Phil Collins (Tarzan)
4. Circle of Life (Lion King)
5. Strangers Like Me (Tarzan)
6. Trashin the Camp (Tarzan)

I know most of these are children's songs, but I love them and am listening to them as I blog! Most of these songs teach you things. SO what do I do before I belt these songs out into the air? I look up at the sky, sigh, and belt out the songs one at a time ;) .....

Sniffles and Coughs........

Darn spring feaver! Everyone is getting it. As I sit here and type this, I am trying not to sneeze onto my computer screen and cough up, well, you get it. Anyways, to heal myself, or tried to, this is what I did. I went to a camp and cleaned, then visted my best buds! CATS! Got to love them. They are really great healers. Ahhh. Well, as I was working at camp I looked up at the sky, sighed, and got rained on. Then as I was walking home from the shelter, I looked up at the sky, sighed, and took one step at a time towards home.....

Work........

So, ya'll know that I voulunteer at our local animal shelter. Ya'll also know that I am filming a 30 min movie for school. Now, putting the two on top of each other is just painful. On top of those I have school and my family troubles. So, all in all, I have a 24/7 work week. I don't really get a break. I'm not complaining though. Because when I start to do one of these things, I look up at the sky, sigh, and take on one task at a time.....

Problems........

Dealing with your own problems may seem tough. But, then again, when it comes to your friends problems, it's a nightmare. Let me tell you about a problem one of my friends has at the moment. (names are changed to first initial)

OK, so one day, my friend K comes up to me and tells me that she got kicked out of her mom's house (mind you, she is only 15 years old) and had to go to our friend S's house. She started to cry and I gave her a hug. Then we told the rest of our friends. (Sa, Ky, L, and A) Ky, said that K could sleep over at her house and lay low for a little bit. So, K did. That night I called S becasuse K's mom had just been at my house asking for K. I told S that I played dumb and she told me that the police called her house and she told them that K was over at a friend named Ky's house. She said she didn't know where they lived, or the phone number, but I told S that K's mom had Ky's phone number. So I called Ky and she said that her parents were going to call the police and have K talk with them. I got really mad at her because she said she was going to help K, not turn her back to where she need not be! So I called S again and we divised a plan. It didn't work out though. So Sa and Ky took K to the councler the next day and told her everything. That night, K got a call from her social worker and K's mom said that everything was OK. K wanted to die right then and there, and so did I. So now, me, Ky, Sa, S and A are all trying to get K out of her house. She cannot live there anymore. So far, we havn't made much progress, but we have a plan, and I know it is going to work.

Ok, so thats all that happend so far. I hope we can get K out of her house. Like I said, She need not be there anymore! So, this is what I am going to do, and what I am going to tell my friends to do:

Look up at the sky, sigh, and take this problem one small step at a time........

Reading........

Sitting here reading a blog from a friend I know. She sure does know alot! Not just about anything though. She knows alot about animal therapy. I love it! Not only does it feature updates with her and her favorite therapy cat, but it also tells us life lessons and quotes. Also it tells us about God. It is a great blog. Here is the link: lehrman.blog.com
Check it out! It's soooo cool! I thank her and what she does. So, I will leave on a good note. Like always, when things go wrong, I like to look at the sky, sigh, and take it one simple step at a time......

Thinking........

Who would of thought that a family like mine would fight. Two great sons and a single daughter. The mother and the father are divorced and the father is dating a neat freak. The mother is living in a different state, saying that she will soon be there to get us. Who would of thought, that me, the single daughter, would have to deal with it all as if I were the adult. Who would of guessed that not only were the problems at school, but at home too? Whou would of figured, that I would have to deal with not only my brothers problems and mine, but also my friends at school? Who ever said that I was a councler. Well heres who didn't. Me. I didn't think at all that I would have to deal with what I absolulty have to deal with. I didn't thing that I would have to take care of everone the way I do. I didn't think that I would have to start thinking about getting a job at the age of 14 to try and get what I needed. I wasn't ready to start punching metal doors, or screaming at my dad, or trying not to cry everytime I heard my moms voice. I wasn't ready for any of it, but it all hit me at once, and my life went down hill. I cannot climb back up to the top of the hill. It is too tall. To high. I am already rock bottom. Crimany Crickets, what a burden upon my sholders.........That is when I look up at the sky, sigh, and take one step at a time, climbing the hill, slowly but surly.......